Between the colors black and white, I always choose grey.

During my formative years, I have always aced my arts classes because of my proficiency in the art of making the color wheel. The idea of mixing and blending colors always fascinated me. It also taught me that certain colors, when combined together, creates new hues. There are some, however, that simply does not go well together. And when you try and mix them together, what do you get?

Chaos.

From above of paints on palette near supplies placed on oilcloth in art studio

It is disgruntling and infuriating when opposites collide. The tension and the fear you get in the middle of a strife is just suffocating. Nobody likes differences in opinion, don’t they?

Growing up, I have carried with me that fear of confrontations. For the longest time, I stealthily avoided that by hiding under the cloaks of being labeled as “the good guy“. I rarely get into fights, and during the exceptional cases that I do, it is always an intellectual bout.

Unfortunately, differences in opinions always leads to a falling out, or the occasional awkward relationship phase with the opposing side. I figured, then and there, I’d live with the principle of compromise instead.

man wearing yellow jacket on black-and-white striped street

I said, between black or white, I’d choose grey.

Living by that principle worked wonders for me. I was always on the good side of people, successfully navigating different social circles with ease. I learned that people would trust you more if you listen to their woes, versus blatantly opposing their ideologies no matter the intent.

Whenever an adverse idea is laid down, I carefully tread and go on circles around it. I always rely on the voice of reason, to understand the situation and rationalize it. But the truth is, I just didn’t have the guts to confront it. It was always an unnecessary confrontation. It is always better to err on the side of caution. Less risks, less drama, less trouble.

Between black or white, I will definitely choose grey.

The grey area was almost perfect, until it became a safe space. At some point, the grey became an excuse. It was the perfect escape to avoid uncomfortable situations. Away from conflict, far from criticisms.

However, little did I know that it also meant indecisiveness.

When the moral compass is challenged, the grey stays in the middle. When people are killed mercilessly and society was rife with injustices, the grey kept silent. When black stood for evil, the white for good, grey meant apathy.

In the middle of everything, when the harsh realities of life tests our morality, choosing grey means siding with the oppressors. Staying silent and pretending to be blind when all the atrocities are happening around you means choosing grey, and it also means conniving with debauchery. Being part of that side is way worse than the stifling atmosphere of confrontation.

In the middle of everything, when the harsh realities of life tests our morality, choosing grey means siding with the oppressors.

When you see with your own eyes how abuse of power triumphs, and when the safe space that comforted you is destroyed, you’ll eventually realize that the grey isn’t always the answer. At some point, you’ll have to make a stand.

If such a case comes to you, choose black, or white, but never grey.

Editor’s note: Cover photo by Mabel Amber from Pixabay

About the Author:

Vince Gapit is a 20-something communications expert on a mission to find his Great Perhaps. During idle moments, he is either chronicling his life, playing mobile games, or fanboy-ing about anything Korean.