“Home is not a place, but a feeling.”
That’s what they say. In my case, it’s true. For some time now, I have lost the sense of being home. Don’t get me wrong, my family makes me feel loved, but I have lost the meaning of it by being a stranger to myself.
The past month has contributed a lot to my self-realization. The moment I learned about my leaving, I made it a point to spend time with the people I value.
So I made plans to go out with my friends. Every day I was out to meet different circles. By doing this, I got to think about the past, tackle about the present, and share stories and plans for the future.
I was supposed to be happy but a piece of me was not.
I realized I was trying so hard to look for who I am, that I forgot to turn an eye to the person that’s been there since day one: my mom.
So one afternoon I decided to hang out at her office to spend time and catch up. It felt strange. I was so distant. I did not even notice that she’s busy running a school. From time to time people were knocking on her door to ask about school-related matters.
Shame on me, I don’t know who my mother is.
We sometimes take for granted things we think will always be there. We never realize their worth.
I am not an emotional person. We were just having a proper conversation. But it felt comforting to finally reunite with her. After a few exchanges, my rock-hard self turned into a crybaby.
I was looking for myself outside until I realized… she is my home.
This was written after the author has moved to a city more than 500 miles away from home to pursue his dream of working in Mindanao.
[Entry 249, The SubSelfie Blog]
About the Author:
Taj Basman, currently working as a writer in the Bangsamoro, had immersed to different communities during his college days as part of his degree, BS Community Development. Passionate about people and telling their stories, writing has always been his way to transport readers into other people’s worlds. His write-ups are based on his personal experiences too. What he can’t express verbally, he writes down.