It’s been more than three months since his light was put out. That one light that lit up one dim moment of my life.

When I was in grade school, I barely had true friends. Most of my so-called friends then are just people I had to be with because of same advanced classes and school projects. We were plotted to closely work with each other since we had to closely compete to be part of the top list.

Most of them transferred to science high schools and I was left alone, scared of what awaits me in high school. I dreaded moments that I might be an outcast since I was a geek, that I might take meals alone and not really have friends at all.

At that time, my brothers introduced me to different types of music, but Linkin Park’s songs stuck with me.

Their songs reflected my struggles but Chester Bennington’s powerful voice helped me face school days with grit. Through their songs, it felt like someone understood what I’m going through, that it was okay to feel angry and pained and confused all at the same time but you have to rise and face challenges.

I overcame my fears, gained friends and survived high school through their music.

I swore to myself I’d watch them perform live when they get here in the Philippines, but due to my parent’s rules and my brother’s condition, I had to miss both of their concerts held in Manila in 2004 and 2013.

By April this year, news spread out that Linkin Park will have a tour again in Asia and the Philippines was part of their list. I was ecstatic since I was sure this time that I had all the means to watch them perform live but come July, another news broke out that all the LP fans dreaded.

Depression is Real

Chester died due to consequences of his depression.

It was the first article I saw the moment I woke up that morning of July 20th. I didn’t want to believe it, I expected it was just a hoax but more reliable sites released the news. I wept all my way to the office and I cried while working and listening to their songs.

His death was just too painful to endure, that we had to lose him to depression that never shows its face.

People may think I was overreacting but it was obvious that from all over the world, millions were affected by his death.

Tributes and benefit concerts were held in different countries to celebrate Chester’s life and different inspirational stories from friends and fans came out and proved that he was the voice of this generation; that his voice lit up not just my life but also those people who had to deal with depression and life-shattering struggles.

Now if you’d ask us who cares that his light went out in a sky of a million stars? Well we do.

But for us, his life, voice, and the light that he instilled in all of us will continue to flicker.

[Entry 244, The SubSelfie Blog]

About the Author:

Apple Gamboa is a marketing content writer for an Australian-based company. She was previously an interview and field producer for GMA News programs Quick Response Teamand News to Go. She was also a producer of lifestyle TV shows and documentaries. Travelling and music are among her passion, and taking risks is her reality medicine. Journalism 2010, UST. Read more of her articles here.